The Dream by Damien Hirst
- Wear shirt that says “Life.” Hand out lemons on street corner.
- Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
- Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
- Go into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” with a straight face.
- Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
- Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is “C.” Enjoy the show.
- Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell “it worked!” and run out cheering.
- Buy a horse, name it “Oscar Takes the Lead,” enter it in horse races.
- Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, “I’ve been expecting you…”
- Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
- Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”
- Follow joggers around in a car blasting “Eye of the Tiger for encouragement.
This is my to do list. Especially looking forward to #12 as the weather gets warmer and maybe I’ll do #5 at band camp but then again it’s ban camp and no one will actually be surprised.
12 reasons you’re one of my bestfriends.
By Matt Stopera | BuzzFeed Staff
Step 1: Blame yourself.Step 2: Realize gay marriage is inevitable. Statistics show people’s views are rapidly changing on the issue.
Step 3: Imagine how stupid you’ll look in 40 years.
Step 4: Listen to Louis CK.
Step 5: Let…
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